February 2012
text post-it notes
*writes “shut up mom” on lil cute yellow paper with lil sticky thing and puts it on door.*
you know those douchy urls that people make that define them as a text post blog and they’re stupid?
textpostoffice
would be perfect
but im not homo monkey fucker
pizza hut should change their name to Pizza Hunt
way more marketable
1 tag
a post with all the harry potter memes made me murder my family
i’m gonna make sure that my washing machine and dryer are see through when i’m older so i always have something to do.
coagulates:
the sound of people having friends is really annoying
Anonymous asked: when you posted that giggling shower thing i laughed so hard. you havent followed me back. why? i give you so much love. im trying to make your penis happy. what am i doing wrong. you should just go through all your followers and follow them all back so i can log in tomorrow and be like "it happened" and my mom will be like "what happened" and i can be like "a sad penis is...
well, i gave my two cents to the internet and gifted you with the “world series of boner.”
i’m gonna go watch tv now and eat chicken rice and fries
bases loaded, 2 outs, ryan’s up to batt
he takes his penis and points at the fence.
“his form is unbelievable…” the announcers screamed
THERE IT GOES. HE CAME. AHH IT COULD GO ALL THE WAY!!!
IT DID!!! RYAN WINS THE WORLD SERIES OF BONER!!!!
so i played a game in the snow today and then i ran home and jumped in the shower and it was one of those showers that makes you stand there for like 10 minutes giggling.
i fell asleep in the car and dreamt that i created a cyborg horse and we all rode around on mechanical horses instead of using cars and then my dad got pulled over and was drunk and got a RUI. riding under the influence.
My mom woke up telling me that she dreamt about me.
I was doing the colonoscopy and i drank the thing and i thought i had to fart while sitting on the couch but then I shit myself and she explained how upset I was with myself
my brother is gonna go see the cranberries lol what a homo
(i like them too but still lol)
ZOMBIEE AH AH AH AH
its so lesbian and stuff
mosby:
i wonder if there’s someone who wants me to follow them really bad
this has a lot of notes
the last bag of gold fish is gone cause i finally finished it and maybe the gross things coming from the inside of me will go away.
ivanoooze:
lmao wow i had this crazy dream where i was a loser and had no friends and no girlfriend and was really bad in school and lived on the internet an…and…i was on…i was on this website…wh..where i posted things….every…da..day..an…and…oh god this is no dream..THIS IS NO DREAM
my mom is sitting in my computer chair again
LEAVE MY ROOM MOM IM TRYING TO WATCH STUFF
i wear the headphones beats by dr. dude.
alright i’m done.
Dr. Dre throws his cup of coffee at his really nice wall and screams who the fuck is dr. dude?
1 tag
halcielo replied to your video: me singing my heart out
hey guess what i’m in love w/ u still
its funny cause thats probably the most serious song i ever put on here
it sounds like a really sad man got beat up by his favorite wheel chair that can talk
i love you too
1 tag
Watchme singing my heart out
the kind of day where i play beautiful songs all day on guitar that still have feel good vibes trying to turn my face into a tree
one day i will unlock the homo ability
hyliam:
girls are stupid i wish i was gay
dude i’d run the beat around a cock. i’d take it into the lane and slam dunk on a cock. that cock wouldn’t know anything better than me.
BUT IM NOT GAY. FUCK MAN. THINGS WOULD BE EASIER.
im with you on this liam. so with you.
Anonymous asked: You not masturbate? Who are you and what have you done with the owner of this blog?
Anonymous asked: you should probably fap or you might die and if you die i die so go masturbate i don't want to die i love you don't die
im about to watch shrek 12 times in a row until its bed time
guys, i haven’t even masturbated today
I HAVEN’T MASTURBATED TODAY
sadpenis has reached clinical and maximum levels
self destruct in t minus 10…..9…….8……7…….6……5……4……3…….2……1……..
hyliam:
*explodes in a disgusting, fiery, depressed mess*
1 tag
im gonna cut off my fingers and put them in a water bottle and try to drink it
if i keep eating fucking gold fish, i’m going to become a gold fish that smells like placenta and just throw up all over the walls of my room and violently kill my self with a rake
1 tag
blkcoffy reblogged your photo: earlier today, i looked like i was in all time low…
fire le missiles!
i don’t get it
1 tag
aaasianpersuasion replied to your photo: earlier today, i looked like i was in all time low…
just fuck me senseless already plz
i hope this gets me a job when i’m older.
1 tag
i don’t trust people in trench coats
hey sir
you look stupid
maybe i shoulda drove to the hospital when i was alone in my car driving and screaming about things
what up popsicle
i’m gonna assume that most of you (not all. i know some of you have it way worse but let me complain for the sake of complaining.) probably grew up thinking yea my dads pretty cool.
i basically grew up thinking i have to be the exact opposite of my dad or my life is fucked.
he hasn’t taught me anything that i’m going to need to know about the world and he’s an even...
i drove around for an hour today talking to myself while talking shit about my dad.
then i got subway and kept seeing Julz everywhere.
how bout you
a dollar store in pokemon called the dollar treecko